Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Randomize
