bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
