Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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