okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Randomize
