I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
