The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Randomize
