those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I wish there were birth control emojis
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
