I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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