Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
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