He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Randomize
