Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
