I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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