we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
