Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
He better not be in your backpack
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Will exercising make me less horny?
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
