I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
