people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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