Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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