capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
