I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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