You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize