I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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