IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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