It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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