Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I'm sobbing to NWA
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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