I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I woke up under a house in Key West
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
