I love black thongs
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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