So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
