ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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