woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Randomize
