The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Randomize
