so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
