no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
