How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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