Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
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