U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
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