So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Also, beer. Big fan.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
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