I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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