idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
