GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
