Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Randomize
