On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
