No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
our cab driver is having phone sex.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize