its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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