Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
