We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
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