He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
Randomize
