I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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