I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
