Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
