I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I need to wash the frat house off of me
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
