We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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