I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
