The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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