never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Randomize
