Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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