Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
