In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Randomize
