I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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