butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
