I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
