Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
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