I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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