Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
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