So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize